What I learned at the Living Proof Live Conference

I like to take Sundays to reflect and go over my week. This week has been a wonderful one. I had the chance to go to Beth Moore and I had time to fellowship with my cousin whom I hadn't seen in over two years.

Beth Moore seriously left an impression on me, one that I don't think will go away in some time. I am not sure if I mentioned it but I had not had a word of God give me that much of an impression and I feel like God is just such a loud and powerful voice in my mind right now which is funny because I never thought that I would "hear" Him. I always thought people were special if they were able to discern the voice of God in their minds!

I wanted to reflect and share how that conference stirred my soul because I feel like getting it out somewhere will make it real and hold me accountable and you will be able to read about what He has done for me.

 The theme of the entire conference was "Watermarked" each story reflected on a time in scripture that involved a person or people, water, and a divine presence. There were 5 scenes in which all of us will go through during our relationship with God. Each season was different and for me personally they seemed to follow perfect suit which made it even more relatable to me. I don't want to spoil anything really but in order to talk about which scene hit me the most I have to disclose the specific scene.

Matthew 14:22-31  This is where all the disciples are on a boat, there is a storm, it's windy and the boat is rocking. Jesus comes to His disciples walking on water. Peter asks if he can walk on the water with Jesus and Jesus tells him to come and through the faith that he had Peter was also able to walk on the water toward Jesus. Peter realized exactly what was happening lost faith and fell into the water and started to drown. Jesus asks him why he had so little faith and doubted Him.

The point given by Beth: We are never more personally exposed then when we are doing God empowered exploits. God can enable us to do something wild, crazy, and BIG. It is a crisis of faith if you don't believe that you can do it. Do you believe that God can do something that you are not capable of?

The wise don't hide when they are sinking they cry out "God, help me"



For 3 years now I have been feeling this calling to help others in their health and fitness. Every time I get involved and into it I quit because there is this fear that overcomes me with leaving my current employment and I begin to doubt what God is doing for me and in turn doubt myself. Beachbody coaching feels like my calling and like the point above I didn't believe that God could make me a kick butt Beachbody coach because I didn't believe in myself either. I was also scared of all the money that comes with being as successful as my coach and my upline. The thing is, that up until now the voice that this was what I was supposed to be doing with my life was just a whisper which I thought was just me, now things are happening and I am seeing these crazy things of people doing what I consider fearless in my face all the time and this point just hit me like a ton of bricks!

Being a health and fitness coach exposes me way more than I am comfortable doing because I have to go out of my comfort zone and speak to people and ask the how I can help them along with sharing what Beachbody is about versus sitting at my desk and doing what I am told. I like to help people and it gives me no greater joy than to hear that someone has did something wonderful with their health and their self confidence. I mean it SERIOUSLY makes my day! I probably have an identical reaction when my kids do great things! I want women to feel beautiful inside and out. I want that for women but the way that God wants me to do it through Beachbody is CRAZY to me. He allowed me to see that I could succeed at it and again I quit because I was pregnant and tired and I was thinking about myself and not others. I knew He was calling me because I asked Him for a clear sign that I was to do this as His will and I have been getting small commissions and women asking me to help them recently.

I remember sitting at the conference and when Jesus told Peter WHY DID YOU DOUBT ME? I felt like he was talking directly to me. No if's ands or buts about it. That was exactly what he was telling me. Why did I doubt His will for me over and over. You see I could also swing this on the side of my current job as in why I am trying to leave my job when I haven't succeeded there but that's negative and God isn't negative and the only thing on my mind is coaching and empowering women and how I can do that successfully. Does that make sense?

With the past that I have had with abuse I want women to feel good about themselves and get out of any pit that they are in with weight or struggles with them being abused or mistreated themselves. I feel like this has so much more of a positive faith voice. I truly believe that my current job isn't one that puts me "out there" or exposes me the way it states in the point.

I think it is crazy that this was confirmed for me and how my cousin and I sat at the same place right next to each other and received different messages from the same exact message. It was like magic! It was seriously crazy how it all happened and how on fire we are even after it has been almost a week since we went to the conference. I love how we received a word from Him but how much closer it has brought us. This past weekend was seriously INTENSE. I didn't think that I would get as much as I did out of it or that it would light my fire for Jesus brighter than it already has which is bananas to me.

I know I promised this post to be out the day after my other but I had to let it all settle in and let the word move through me and move me. I also just wanted to keep it in me and think through it well before putting what I wanted to say out in the world without being impulsive. :)

I think that if there is a conference in your area you should make the time to go because being in a room with so many believers is crazier than being in church to some degree. It is just simply.............amazing

You just have to listen

**This is a spiritual post**

I was writing the other day about how pregnancy has changed me and it certainly has. After I wrote that post I started connecting some dots that had to do with my life and what God was doing in it. I need to preface this with some background so you can understand where all this is coming from.

After my divorce I was probably at the lowest point in my life, I had to share custody of my child but really it wasn't shared his father has full custody. I was called very many derogatory things. I was called a bad mother, someone who was promiscuous, a whore, slut all things that I didn't really deserve to be called because the way I had conducted myself as a mother to my child and as a wife was none of those things. Anger and divorce can make you say and be just terrible. Granted, I am no saint and I had a few choice words for my ex as well. ANYWAY I digress.......I felt that because of all of these negative thoughts and viewpoints of me and the way that I had felt about myself (a failure, bad person, tainted) I made it a point to give myself the best life that I could because I was going to prove all of those crappy people see that I AM GOOD. I AM NOT WHO YOU SAY I AM. SO, I cleaned up my act and in the matter of 3 years I got 2 college degrees, got promoted at work, married the man of my dreams, and gave birth to my second child. I was fueled by anger and resentment. It wasn't until 2011 that I received God into my life and I started learning more about Him and I learned first about forgiveness. Once I was able to forgive I was able to see WHY the things that happened to me happened and accepted them as blessings even though they still hurt. 

I had succeeded. I was gifted everything that I had wanted in my life and God gave that to me before I had even accepted Him into my life but I was blinded. Long story short I kept doing and doing and doing and was SO focused on DOING and proving them wrong that I lost sight. I had committed to too many things and was just doing things for the sake of doing them. I have to admit that social media has also played a part in my recent do more mentality and I wanted to do things because they worked for other people. 

It wasn't until I started to sit down and think and when I posted about what this pregnancy has done for me that everything actually clicked. It was God showing me that I wasn't trusting Him with everything that I was doing and I was trying desperately to get a square to fit in a darn circle. The way that I feel that He speaks to me is through seeing things and showing me things that I read or talk about. Things that when I resonate over my day I know that it was Him that was talking to me. I needed to let all of the other things go and trust that he was going to take care of me. Life wasn't for me to figure out it was for Him to do for me. I didn't have to have two part time jobs, my full time job, and be a mother and wife to be content in this life because life is about pleasing Him and I had no time to nuture my family AND please Him and do what was/is right by HIm. SO, slowly I started letting things go to the side and I feel.........RELIEF. Relief that I have the time that I was seeking and relief that I don't have to have so many obligations in life and that it truly can be simple without having to add MORE to it. I can just be and be happy where I am.

Over the past few weeks I have been reading Bible passages about trusting God. My Joyce Meyer magazine was about trusting God and being bold. Sermon podcasts that I listen to in my car were subsequently about God and MY DEVOTIONAL is now speaking really loud to TRUST God. See all the signs are there I just have to listen. I have to pay attention because it's not like he is just going to jump out and show his face to me like he does in the Bible although, that would be pretty awesome and rather scary actually ha ha. 

I don't really know what it is to TRUST God. I mean I know that everything will be ok and that he will take care of me and give me things that he knows that I can handle. I guess maybe that is all that it is. But, does the worry stop? Does the thinking about the future stop or do we just make non-commital plans in life and see what happens? I suppose that my studies will take me further but I am hearing His message loud and clear. 

If you have any thing that you could add please do because I sure would love to know exactly what it is that I am supposed to be doing LOL.