Why not you?

10 years. 10 years is what it took me to open my eyes and push myself to get my true grit back.

Grit- 

courage and resolve; strength of character.

synonyms:

strength of will, moral fiber, endurance;

I blamed everyone else for my problems and the way that I looked. I blamed it on my kids on my circumstances. It was everyone elses fault but my own.

There I stood in front of that camera not knowing what the hell I was going to get myself into. 10 years I hated that body I was in. I stood in the mirror, picked myself apart, and I didn't truly love myself anymore.

Why?

THIS is the person that I was. Of course all you see is a picture of someone that is overweight and that doesn't look happy but let's go inside the mind of Jeannette in 2011.

In May 2006 my life changed forever. I had experienced the ultimate betrayal of physical abuse in my marriage, then later I found that there was infidelity, I got into the Coast Guard months after these incidents, met my current husband, had a baby with him, got divorced and lost physical custody of my first son who now lives with his father. We do share 50/50 custody, not ideal but I am making the best of the situation at hand.

To top it  all off my job sent me and my new family to Kodiak Alaska so not only was my first son living in another state, I was going to be on the other side of the world! Everything was taken from me, my marriage, my son, my possessions, and my body was disrespected and trust betrayed.  I was blessed by having my husband and my second son but I had never truly gotten over the pain of my past in order to fully appreciate what was right in front of me all along and didn't see the blessing that had come.

In between getting divorced and getting pregnant and into another serious relationship alcohol was my best friend. I drank every night to escape my problems even though I was seeing a counselor alcohol was the ultimate way to get away. I knew my first marriage was over long before it was really over but my kid......that still gets at my core even now as I type. Now, years later things are forgiven and the anger gone but it sometimes cripples me that things didn't pan out the way I wanted or pictured them to.

So there I was in this picture standing looking at the camera never having gotten over my son being gone and the anger that I held with my ex in regards to the whole situation of our marriage falling apart and there was more to it and I was by no means a great wife either but the physical abuse was something that I couldn't move past. I was and am happy in my current marriage (7 years strong) and going through what I did with my son helped me to become a better mother and person overall but that part came later. I was in a place where I was away from everyone that I knew, my husband was gone on a patrol, so it was me and my second baby boy home alone in a world we didn't really know. The first part of that tour there was a hot mess and I was so angry and blamed everyone else for my current situation. I didn't realize how much that time alone away from everyone I knew was what I desperately needed. I needed to focus on myself and just having to care for my son at the time was really all I could handle.

I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and in Jan 2011 I decided to go back to the Jeannette that I was before "the rock bottom pit" of my life. Before my first marriage I was totally positive, I didn't have self esteem issues, and I was seriously SO determined to succeed, it was in me. I remember a moment when I was in the Army and we were doing an obstacle course and I told myself, "You need to run by 10 guys just push past 10 of them don't let them beat you." I wanted THAT girl back, the one that fought to better herself, not the one that was broken from everything going wrong in my life.

I wanted my old mentality back, so for me getting that back was physically getting myself back in shape and that is what I sought out to do.  I started my fitness journey. I joined a fitness accountability group and I was surrounded by the most positive people ever. Which was crazy. I mean all these people are really lifting me up. There are people like that out there in the world. Not everyone is mean and eventually I started seeing the good in people.

I thought to myself daily, "Why not me? Why can't I get me back?" I am good enough and I want this for me. I want to feel "normal." I want to have my confidence back. So, I started working out and eating healthy and there was no looking back. I sweat, cried at the frustration that I had because I wasn't as strong physically as I thought I was but I was getting there one day at a time. It was a true test for me which is crazy because who seriously would think that starting a workout program and joining an accountability group would change my life so dramatically. The thing is is that I decided to change, it started with my body and ended up being my mind and my life. The side effect was a reflection in the mirror that I loved inside and out.

I decided to be free of the negativity and look to the positive. I started reading personal development books, I quit smoking, I started creating goals for myself, and making everything that I felt was negative and putting a positive spin on it. In May of 2011 I gave my life to Christ and I have not turned back from that either. God has seriously changed my life in addition to fitness. it's crazy!

I also started taking care of myself, paying more attention to my little baby boy, calling my son in Florida more often, being thankful to my husband and showing him more affection, apologizing to those whom I had done wrong in the past, and gave up drinking so heavily. I seriously believe that faith and fitness has helped me heal myself and to get the ME back that I knew was in me all along but I had to push past the pain and the heartache and enjoy the good, focus on the positive, and look forward and refusing to look back and fester there. There is nothing in my past now but lessons learned that I am now grateful for. My past made me who I am today but it doesn't define who I am now. I was capable of change to get myself back.

Why not you? Why can't you overcome? 

I am here to tell you that you can. The road that I traveled was not a short and quick one. My healing continues today and the more I heal I can see areas of my life where I am still broken. I am not perfect but I am not the same person that I was and you don't have to be either. You are capable of change, you are capable of being happy and to have the ability to enjoy life.

You are worth of being happy and smiling all day everyday. Why can't you? Because someone told you you can't or is it that you don't believe that you can? I am here to tell you to stop listening to everyone else and DO YOU and be HAPPY! You were not put here to be unhappy and struggling, you were put here to be ALIVE!

So when you are looking at people that inspire you ask yourself why not me and do something about it!

My digestion struggles

It has been about three years that I have been having digestive issues. I was on a typical junk food diet in my 20's and it wasn't until I started P90X that I really made it a point to make health a lifestyle and not a weight loss thing.

I remember my birthday in Alaska my husband and I went to Taco Bell for my birthday and for a few days after that I got really bad stomach cramps and then I felt nauseous for months but the kind of nauseous that you knew you weren't going to get sick with. I went to the doctor and I was given medicine to lower my stomach acid and was treated for h. Pylori which is a bacterial infection from food.

Ever since that incident my digestion has taken a serious turn for the worst. It started with lactose. I can no longer eat that but it is a blessing because dairy is terrible for you. I am almost done mourning cheese ha ha. After the lactose it was onion. Now I cannot eat peppers, kale unless it is cooked, spinach, anything processed or spices because they all have onion in them. I am pretty much doomed to cook everything myself. On the regular I don't mind but here's the thing.......a girl likes to have a break to and because of my IBS type symptoms that are associated with eating things that I can't it makes it really hard and time consuming. I have had excessive gas, constipation, diarrhea, sometimes stomach cramps.

I started research on my issues and I have narrowed it down to leaky gut, SIBO, Candida, or just plain ol IBS. The problem with this is that my insurance does not cover a functional medicine specialist so I am going to try and see if I can get a referral to a belly doc. I want a solution to my problem because it is going way to far. I have a vacation planned to go to Florida next week so I am waiting for that to get this referral in and to start the Paleo autoimmune protocol. It seems to be the only thing that clears up my symptoms. I did it for a week and it worked great but it started to get expensive because I was cooking out of recipes all the time and buying these foreign ingredients so I stopped and lets be real. I really wanted to eat some pizza. Any how. When I went to my Bible Study group and ate all the "bad" foods there and having to deal with my stomach being upset the entire day after I ate I realized it wasn't worth it anymore I needed an intervention. The only thing that I have found that has been somewhat helpful is eating gluten which makes me think it is bacterial because the cravings that I have for sugar and the gluten eating that is helping makes me think that I am feeding it and it is making me feel normal which is scary and it sucks.

To alleviate my digestive problems, I have been taking a digestive enzyme and drinking lemon water and that has helped 100%. Now all I have to do is get my L-Glutamine in the mail and start eating on the autoimmune protocol along with being low FODMAP. You are probably wondering why I am not just going ahead and starting the diet ASAP, well it's because of my vacation. It's already hard to eat the way that I do and adding a super strict diet I feel would stress me out too much and probably do more harm than good because there are times when I am all about diving right in but not for this.

With that said I am going to try my best to start eliminating things from my diet to ease myself into it because as soon as I get back it is on for 60 days. I can't believe that I am saying that LOL but I am going to be super strict. At this point after three years of smell gas and #3 in the bathroom I am more than ready to get this done and healed.

I am hoping to be able to see the doctor and at least get tested in regards to SIBO but we shall see what happens. I really hope that my medical office will give me more than just...."Well stop eating that food." It's not really that simple because I am becoming intolerant to the most popular foods and my food list is slowly shrinking. I hope to find a resolution to all of this and come back with good news. I will keep you updated on the progress here and let you know exactly what I am doing and how so that way, if you have something like this going on with you it may help you too.

Bible Study thoughts

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I was talking to my son awhile ago when he was talking to me about problems that he was having at school and he wanted revenge on the children that were messing around with him. I referenced Romans 12:14-18 it speaks about blessing those who are mean to you and not to pay back evil actions with the evil but letting God take control of that whole situation. I was speaking to him earlier this week and I had inspired him to read the whole book of Romans because I mentioned that it was my favorite book. I love it because when I am not acting right or feel that I am not I instantly read these pages and fix myself and attitude.

I started reading it as well and I have been reading it nice and slow to be able to capture more from it. Like half to one chapter in the book a day. I was listening to my You Version app one morning and I heard Romans 8. This chapter speaks of living with the spirit of God in you. It brought me such sweet revelation that I am still getting chills and smiles over it. I know that sometimes reading the Bible I just gloss over it just to read it because I made a goal to read a chapter or two per day and often times find myself not understanding what I am reading because of the context or the history related to the story. (I HAVE to attend a Bible school LOL for personal reference)Not this time. I read it slow and steady while it was being read to me and what happened was such a beautiful thing.

I sometimes have this evil voice in my head that tells me that I am not spiritual enough or that I was such a sinner before so I am not able to be so Godly. I know that is the devil speaking to me but damn it is a hard thing to hear and of course I pray and ask God to take this nasty out of my head and fill me with His grace. I digress, so I was listening to the reading that was being done while I was following along and I read this;

5 “Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit.”

9 “but you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you.

How beautiful is that?

For a long time I never understood that my sins had been forgiven if I couldn’t forget them because things that I had done in my past had come back to creep in my mind or things that people said about me came to mind and made me feel like I wasn't worthy. I now know that I HAVE been forgiven not because of this verse but because I have a better relationship with Jesus and I have grown in the Spirit that those memories come back to remind me of what I was and how I am now.

 I am now filled with the Holy Spirit and I KNOW through this now that I am no longer controlled by my sinful nature. You would think that I would have known that but I didn’t and God wanted me to see that for myself. I am now thinking good thoughts about helping people and seeing joy in people rather than thinking about my next drink,  who I was going to hook up with, or what kind of “trouble” I was going to get into that night. Those are events from WAY back in the day but I was shown how my mind has changed. That was me then and this is me now and I am living in the Spirit. I am not dominated by my sinful nature anymore and if you are in Christ neither are you. I thought it was truly amazing to read something and it just JUMP right off the page. Has that ever happened to you?

I know that I am not perfect and I still sin but it was nice to know through the word that I don’t live in that sinful nature anymore. I am changed and I am being changed by the Spirit daily. It reminds me of that Brandon Heath song. I am not who I used to be, and it makes me smile. I remember when I first started my walk with God how entirely ruined I was and I had a heart that was broken and a mind that was just wrong. I didn’t trust anything that the Bible said because I couldn’t believe that I could be a better person or live in happiness because I had been crowded by so much negativity and negative noise. Now I look up and thank God that he SHOWED me and let me know that he will have HIS way and he did and I couldn’t be happier at the gravity of how my life has changed. 

What kinds of revelations has the Bible shown you?

Insanity Max:30 Week 2

Week 2 was a great week! I just finished Pulse this morning and I made it through without stopping.

Shakeology my healthiest meal of the day!

Overall week 2 was great on Thursday I remember telling myself WOW you are a 1/4 of the way through this thing already. How awesome is that? I am really enjoying the workouts and I like that it kicks my butt in 30 minutes and I truly do feel spent!

Monday Cardio Challenge I maxed out in 9 minutes
Tuesday Tabata Power I maxed out in 12 minutes
Wednesday Sweat Intervals  I maxed out in 13 minutes
Thursday Tabata Power I maxed out in 10 minutes but I didn't do modifications
Friday I maxed out at minute 16.

On Friday I gave it all I had and I had to literally talk to myself and tell myself that I could do it and that I didn't have to stop. I also psyched myself up telling myself that I was not going to quit until I got halfway through the damned thing. I do feel like I need to push a bit more on Friday but it becomes this mental thing that you want to go as hard as you can and I did but I know that I had more in me! The bad part about giving my all in the first half was the second half I had to keep pausing the workout so I could breathe because I literally maxed out ha ha ha ha.

Overall it was a great week but I gave in BIG time with candy! I don't know what I was thinking but I bought a big bad of Charms Blow Pops and I ate the whole bag in 2-3 days..........FAIL I know. Then I went to Bible Study and we had recipes that we made from our Bible study book What Love Is by Kelly Minter and I ate like crap....well, not really but I ate a lot of stuff that I can't eat like dairy and beans so I was totally jacked up the next day and I felt TERRIBLE for it. Later on next week I am going to talk about my digestive issues but for now we can say that I was inflammed and gassy and I just felt terrible even though what I ate was fairly healthy. I did eat a lot of bread........like 6 slices well anyway.......

Brown rice noodle lo mein
 

Our Bible Study Spread. How can you say no to THAT?!

I can say that I did not lose any weight and I did not check my inches but being at the top of my goal weight I am not too worried about losing weight. I bought Max 30 to tone my thighs and rear and to try to get to my 120 pound goal weight. Measurements will be up on Day 30 so that way I can have a good gauge of how I am doing.

Progress not perfection

My goals from today on is NO CANDY and do my best and forget the rest!

A Day in the Meal Plan

This was my meal plan for Insanity Max 30 during week 1. It shows you how I eat and it is pretty typical to my daily eating. It's not anything special. I do notice that when I try to get super creative is when I tend to derail. I am trying to keep my food pretty general because it is easy and with 2 kids my time has been cut drastically. I also have some food intolerance's that I need to take care of. For the sake of not going on the Autoimmune protocol (more on that later) I am trying to keep things as simple as possible.  So here it is!

This weekend I did go a little bit too far with lollipops (my guilty pleasure) and i had to throw them away because I couldn't stop eating them. I do keep things that I cannot eat out of the house because my health is more important but it did take me three years to get to where I am with my diet and it's not just for my health health it is for my peace of mind which I will touch on more later as well.


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Insanity Max 30: Week 1 Meals

Day 1: Shakeology

3 eggs with broccoli and some plantain chips

Banana for a snack with some green tea

Salad with romaine cucumber and chicken with oil and apple cider vinegar dressing.

Chicken wings with zuchinni

Day 2: Shakeology

Brocoli eggs and strawberry and banana

Chicken with tomato sauce, potato, salad with kale green pepper red pepper, yellow pepper, romaine cider vinegar and oil dressing

Enjoy Life bar

Steak with the same left over salad

Day 3 Shakeology

Chicken and Broccoli strawberry and banana

Chicken and zuchinni

Enjoy life bar

Avocado with plantain chips

Dijon pork tenderloin with potato and asparagus

2 cups popcorn (monthly moment!)

Day 4Meal 1 Shakeology

Meal 2: 2 eggs with zuchinni

Meal 3: strawberry and banana

Meal 4: pork tenderloin with broccoli and ½ avocado

Meal 5: Roast beef with asparagus

Healthy Eating On a Budget

Healthy Eating on a budget

I think that one of the biggest misconceptions and truths (oxymoron right) is that eating healthy is expensive.

Misconception if you are already eating healthy

Truth if you are eating pasta and rice with something on the side or meals in a box

I spend about $150 a week to feed my family and I eat very healthy and this covers my breakfasts lunches and dinners.

Here are 5 tips that I have learned along the way to help me to eat better and to maintain my budget.

1.) Meal plan – I can’t express how important it is to have a meal plan and a grocery list to shop off of. I create a meal plan only for dinners and I cook enough to make lunch for the next day. For breakfast I always eat the same thing because I am a creature of habit.

2.) Don’t go completely off of recipes. I used to do this and I would spend so much money going through my cookbooks and buying every single herb and ingredient in the recipe. If you are going to do the cookbook thing my advice is to try 1-2 recipes a week or try to keep the ingredients in the same family or use the same types of ingredients.

3.) Buy the same things all the time. I like certain vegetables so I buy them all the time and I use pretty much the same meats so anytime I have to buy something different I do but within reason. This keeps prices down for me because I am always buying the same things almost all the time. When I buy something new like salad, I will leave another vegetable behind because I am replacing it. This kind of goes hand in hand with the above tip but I thought it worth mentioning.

4.) Don’t shop in the aisles. As a real food eater I seriously do think that staying in the aisles is not the best of ideas. The only reason I go into aisles is to get broth, mustard, vinegars, and oils. Oh yeah! And the frozen food section to get my vegetables J

5.) Buy frozen vegetables when you can. I know that I don’t eat broccoli as fast as I should so I buy the freezer ones I get more and I pay less for it. I pay 1.49 for a big bag and usually get 2 for the week but for some reason if I buy it fresh I let it sit there. So if you can stand the texture of some vegetables get them frozen. I usually do green beans and broccoli. What I do is boil the green beans of course but for the broccoli I just put the frozen broccoli in a dish with no water and microwaver for 1:30 to 2 minutes and it comes out perfect! And it is an easy side for work!

I hope this helps you get on your way to healthy eating. I have added what my grocery list looks like so that you can see what it is that I buy. I promise if you use the right portions than you are going to have enough to feed yourself!

30 Day Accountability Group - March 28th

I am so excited to announce that Beachbody has an On Demand service for their workouts. You are now able to stream workouts from the comfort of where ever it is that you are. It is compatible with you laptop, iPad, iPhone, or whatever it is that people stream on now a days LOL.

Beachbody is doing an 30 day trail and I want to take full advantage of FREE and help you out on your fitness journey!

There is no commitment to buy a specific workout program because you will have access to Beachbody's most popular workouts. I don't know about you but I am researcher. When Insanity first came out some guy on YouTube posted videos of him working out to the whole video and I watched him before I committed to buying and when I started P90X I was AGAIN on YouTube watching the womens transformations. I totally understand researching something before buying it especially if you want to take more than 100 bucks from me. I just can't be ripped off but there is some serious value in these workouts. I have been able to lose my baby weight and my weight weight with Beachbody's programs. So why not try them for free? You aren't losing a thing!

There are requirements for this group though :)

You have to participate.
You have to sign up for a memnership to access the videos
You have to buy a Shakeology Sampler pack because nutrition is vital and while you will be learning more about nutrition in the group I want to get you started on some of the most nutrient dense shake there is out there. Many people tell me they don't have time to cook or they don't eat breakfast so this is a good way to start AND you get to try all the flavors that are offered before committing to a BIG bag of it right?

Here ya go 30 days with me! Are you ready?

If you are interested please fill out this form and I will get back to you as soon as possible and see if you made it into the challenge!