Why it's so easy

I am reading this book Rhinestone Jesus and something just came across my mind.

I am at a part in the book where a woman who was saved by the grace of God and was able to have a healthy baby after being in severe poverty could just walk in the light of the Lord why can't I?

I get so trivial about following God. I give myself these rules and things that I need to work on to be "perfect" or to be more like Him but I feel that daily I fail and that I am maybe trying too hard to get in good with him.......

Isn't that something? I am not saying that God hasn't put on my heart to do certain things like stop gossiping and cleaning up my language because my mouth is a serious problem but why can't I just accept His grace and move on with it? Kind of like this woman who has seen His grace and just does it because life is just so much better with Him in it? Do I even understand His goodness? I don't. I am sure of it because His goodness is bigger than I could ever imagine but I get glimpses here and there.

I am reading about these women over in Kenya and I have a Bible study friend that is in Mount Kilaminjaro right now taking care of lepers and she helps the people in the community there. This lady in my Bible study group quit her job so that she could go take care of her people because God had called her to do it! I mean, isn't that simply amazing?

If you are in "this world" it's really easy to fall into the trap of this world but it's not what is around us that is a problem. We are the entitled ones.....the ones that maybe need to give somethings away and receive less than..........

It's not often that my eyes are opened like this and where I get motivated by things that I read. My thoughts peak for sure but isn't there more that we could do for others instead of only thinking of ourselves? Can we just walk alongside God and do what he wants us to do? I mean, I am not saying that we all need to go to Africa to walk alongside God but maybe there is more to it than I was thinking in regards to it all being about "me" because clearly it isn't. It's all about Him.  Sometimes I know that I could be doing more if I only take the time to step out of my bubble and into His grace.

Defining moments

I can look back onto my life and see different pieces that defined me and the person that I am today. It wasn't until I looked back at my life and searched for these moments that I finally saw them.

I remember the day that I got on the bus and went off to the Army. I had wanted to be in since I was in 8th grade and received a letter that I had to wait until I was in 11th grade to sign up for the delayed entry program and I did. I had achieved a goal that I set out to do. I was determined to be in the Army and I patiently went on with my life until the time I saw the recruiter. I think I am probably one of the few people that actually sought out a recruiter and not the other way around. So, I was on the bus and of COURSE they play Full Metal Jacket on the charter bus. We have the Marine Corp recruits on our bus and our first stop was Paris Island where they got YELLED at while they were on the bus and we jolted in our chairs knowing we had made a commitment and we had to follow through. We get off the bus at Fort Jackson and I went through the craziest 9 weeks of my life and pushed myself to INSANE limits. I did things that I never thought I would do and probably will not have the chance to do again. Looking back at my entire time in the Army I was always asked to push beyond my limits and I just did it. I didn't question whether I could or not I just followed an order and if I needed help or further instructions they were available to me.

I had a goal and I pushed forward and saw it through

I never questioned anything that I did and today I am still that way. I do a little bit more thinking now as not to be impulsive in my life because I really have a problem with that but if I want something bad enough I know that there is work to be done and I have to do it in order to get what I want. The time that I have spent in the Army is really defining in my life. There are disciplines that I still carry with me like being on time and 10 minutes early, and taking the time to respect our flag. I don't think that I would be the person that I am today without going there first. They molded the work ethic that I have and pushed me to go further than I could see for myself. 

While I am doing doing what I thought my dream job was, God had other plans for me. I think He used my time in the Army to help me to become an example to others about discipline and pushing themselves further than they may on their own. I know that He was preparing me for something better and I know that I am now experiencing that now but only recently have been opening my eyes to it which is pretty amazing. I am so thankful for all the experiences in my life and I have PLENTY, but to acknowledge the good that has come to my life because of the past is a pretty awesome thing to look back on. 

Pieces of my life lately

I have had this blog for several years now and recently I have had a feeling to write more about personal things than fitness things. It's just not really my interest anymore. I do enjoy eating healthy and I used to enjoy reading about healthy living but I feel that now that I am personally in a maintenance mode in regards to my weight my focus has gone else where. I do still enjoy my Beachbody workouts and toyed around a bit with barre and Buti Yoga and have started to do the Kayla Itsines workout too I am just in a place where fitness and nutrition isn't such a HUGE part of my life anymore it just became more like brushing my teeth therefore pretty blah to talk about.

I have taken a big focus on my family lately and getting into other hobbies that I truly enjoy partaking in. I did a photo shoot for a friend, and really just spending time with my family and reading a whole bunch of books on everything. I have just been doing me and trying to steer away from living my life online and in real life but I still feel a pressing calling to write so here I am......writing.

My daughter turned a year last week and it was so fun getting her cake and photo background all ready for her smash cake session and.....well... that didn't really happen. She was scared of the cake and my husband insisted on making her put her hand in the frosting and her hand got sticky and well it was then over because she did not like sticky on her hand LOL.

There she is looking just like her father. She is just an amazing determined baby and I love her to pieces but man, does she give us a run for our money. She pinches us and hits us when she gets frustrated so we are totally in a season with this one! I can say that she has been my most challenging baby yet for sure. She is doing well in day care and her favorite person is her brother. She has a thing for our dog and she hooks him up with food whenever he can so he totally just lets her climb all over him within reason because she sneaks him some treats here and there. I totally am in love with this little. Yesterday, for the first time she ran up to me screaming Momma Momma! I was seriously about to cry because she has refused to say Momma FOR. EVER! Needless to say she never said it again after that moment outside but it will be a pure joy when she says is consistently for me. Her Daddy is still by far THE MAN of the house everything revolves around her Daddy even though she has taken to Brother and I a bit more.

My job is going pretty well, we are up to transfer from Mass to somewhere next year and we are waiting to see if we are going to get promotions or not so we are excitedly awaiting the news on that. It's been really hard for me to lean on God lately because of all this craziness that is going to happen in our lives in the next few months. I can't remember where the idea came from but a few times I have had a faint thought about becoming a Company Commander for my job in other words a Drill Sergeant or Drill Instructor. Basically, the same thing. I am torn between this thought because I don't know if it is Gods will for me and my family so I have been praying about it a lot lately. I don't know where this life is going to take us but applying for and accepting this job is going to take me away from my family more than I would like but it would also be so rewarding and would maybe give me that extra push to become an officer which is something that is TOTALLY my end goal with my career. If you are reading this any quick prayers about direction would be great!

My parents are coming up next week too with my oldest son and that is going to be pretty amazing. I can't wait to show my parents around. They were up here last year helping me out with Molly when she was born so they really didn't get out to do much because my husband was working and I was busy healing and resting all that I could while my parents were here so now we can take walks and I can show them some lighthouses and some good food that the Cape has to offer. I am sure I will have a million more stories once they have gone and I can put together my thoughts on the whole visit. I am super excited to have Brandon up here for a month, I love waking up with the ability to see him every morning. It really makes me happy to be able to have that time with him and to see him so flawlessly just blend right into our family without an issue. It's a wonderful thing to see. I am eagerly awaiting his arrival.

Well I will leave you with some pictures from my photo shoot last weekend and hope that you enjoy them!