Back on track with training!

Whew! Labor Day weekend came and went didn’t it. I had such a blast with my cousin  and son that I would just like to go back and do it all over again. 

I don't usually do my makeup or hair so I am documenting the moment.

I went to New Jersey where my cousin had planned a big bash with all of my cousins but I unfortunately was the only one that showed but I made it worth their while. I ate a lot and we danced, laughed, and talked the night away. Let’s just say that marathon training was not on my mind that weekend and I knew that would be the case because when I am with my family it becomes about being with my family. I am sure many of you would agree. I really think that there are times where you just have to live life to the fullest and then get back on track. Honestly it helps me stay sane!

I knew that I would be going to my cousins house so I adjusted my schedule at work and I did my 9 mile run in the morning. I drank my Generation UCAN and out the door I went 30 or so minutes later. I always go out on my run and think WOAH lady how are you going to do 9 MILES! Even though it is not the furthest my little feet have taken me, I have not run that far in a VERY long time. I also took my water bottle with me and let me tell you what a pain in the rear that is! It was pretty annoying to carry a fanny pack for my gigantic phone, and my water bottle. I was a mess to say the least and very uncomfortable. I digress……I started my run thinking how I was going to finish it and that it was going to take forever (for those of you that aren’t runners the first mile is always negative talk). Around mile 2-3 is when my bra strap unattached itself and when my little fanny pack and water bottle started irritating my life. I can say that the beginning of this run was not going how I wanted it to so I put on some music in order to change my mindset and BAM that was the magic that I needed. 

My feet feel into stride and I began finding my pace, breathing, and started thinking about life. I always tend pick apart my days, solve problems, and come up with my most creative ideas and it started happening and my run became better. I forgot about the discomforts and just kept going for it. 

I did start thinking about Brandon this time which I CRIED during my run but only for a second and then I put a stop to that! I started visualizing myself running to Brandon and that the end was finally there. The end, being him being 18 and both of us not being held back by what a stupid piece of paper, a judge ordered, or the control of when we can and can’t see each other is finished. I thought about all of it being done and him coming to live with me and wanting to hang out with me and see what living with me was like and then BOOP I started to cry and smile and cry some more. 

I thought about the journey that we are going through and the journey that we still have left and the bittersweet moment that I want things to go by so fast but I don’t. Being me is weird and confusing sometimes but I feel into the emotion and let it sit there for awhile because I can’t…..I can’t be who I am when I am alone all the time. I can’t be weak all the time. I have to  be strong so Brandon can be strong and so that people don’t pity me because that’s not what I want. I had the moment and I think back to it and now I smile because I just let myself be me. 

My Monday Morning Run

I think that is why I like running so much. It is that time when I can be by myself and feel the things that I need to and pray when I need to because if you are a Mom, wife, and you work full time there is never enough time in a day and when can you really be by yourself? I am always surrounded by people. I am always thankful of the fact that I get to run a few times a week and truly be me if just only for 30-60 minutes at a time in a place other than the rest room! ;)