I am at home with my son and it is rainy outside so he is stuck in the house bored and I am in deep thought and getting rather frustrated wondering when this baby is coming. I am also waiting on my doctors appointment tomorrow so it seems that all I am doing lately is waiting. I am home from work because I am supposed to be resting because I thought I had signs of preeclampsia and the midwife that I had said I looked really super tired and needed to sleep. It turns out that my swelling and headaches were just the heat. Here in Mass it literally went from 57 degrees to 80 in the matter of a day. Oh the joys of living in New England right?
I have found myself going on baby boards, reading birth stories, and googling all kinds of things to induce labor ha ha. I try not to but my mind is consumed with when it will happen and how other women went into labor etc. I am starting to get rather stir crazy but there is nothing really that I feel that I can do to take my mind off of this labor thing other than go shopping and at that I can't buy anything because I don't fit into anything and honestly don't need anything ha ha. I have opted to exercise so this morning I did T25 Cardio, Turbofire Upper 20, and I plan on getting on the elliptical for 40 minutes to see if we can naturally get this thing started.
I am starting to hate due dates and every single email that I get that says the baby can come at any time now. It gives you this false sense that the baby will be here early when most times babies come "late" not really late but after their due date. I am not trying to be bitter but as someone who is near the end of this LONG 200 + day journey in pregnancy knowing that you are so close but still in some sense so far away really makes you cuckoo! I am happy that she is still baking and growing and gaining weight I just wish she would come and see hello to her family too! LOL
I am trying to live by God's rule of everything in his time but when you have such a life changing thing happening to you it is really hard not to obsess about it. I mean my belly is right there staring at me and contracting and it is getting painful and every time I THINK something is going to happen it doesn't ha ha. OH MAN this is torture and I am purely doing it to myself. I know when the time comes to go into labor there will be a time where I want to rewind and wonder what the heck I was thinking about WANTING to be in that much pain but I am ready to embark on the new journey God has put us on but am so ANXIOUS I don't want to wait. I am sure that as maybe a mother reading this you can relate.
Well I am off to go ahead and get that 40 minute elliptical workout in so that I can shower and get on with the rest of my day whatever that may entail. Pray for me please!!! LOL
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