Life lately

I have seriously been MIA from this blog which kind of leads me to this blog post.

I think that lately I have been dealing with some personal things and I have been traveling a lot lately so family time and all that has been a priority. In that time I have been able to sit down and gather my thoughts as I have always been an on the go kind of person. I am always thinking about what is next and how I can accomplish the next task.

I have kind of let this fitness forum go a bit because I feel like no one is listening or someone was waiting for me to give them the magic trick so to speak. I found out the problem is that I am not really consistent in a lot of the things that I do because I haven't set out goals for myself and what I want with my fitness business or what I want personally.

I have let a lot more than that change because I have gained weight and have fallen off of the fitness train myself and kind of let myself go. There are reasons for that but ones that I would rather not talk about now.

I have found that I have been successful when I am consistent in the things that I am doing but I want things to happen like yesterday. I am a very impatient person and I never follow through with a lot of things because I am not seeing the immediate results that I think I should be getting. I have not been committed to things because of fear and I have been selling myself short. So much so that I am now sitting here asking myself what the heck happened to me? What happened to my drive and why the hell am I so scared to do anything that is against the grain? Well I know exactly what happened!

I used to be motivated by people who doubted me or made me mad but now I don't have anyone like that anymore. I used to be motivated by anger and I don't carry that with me anymore so what really is my motivation? I. Don't. Know.

That's crazy right you want things but you don't know why or you are doing things and have no rhyme or reason why you are doing them. Isn't that the craziest thing ever? My goals for now are to figure out what I want to do, get back on a consistent "diet" and exercise program and follow a hybrid program.

So for fitness I am going to do T25 and Les Mills Pump
For nutrition I am going to go back to basics and leave the Paleo alone. It just didn't work for me, what did was eating 6 meals a day and keeping it clean. On Paleo I gained 5 pounds and I didn't like it at all. I felt out of control and out of whack. I still eat grain free meals at times but I am not nor will I ever be 100% Paleo. I loved it but then again I didn't......if that makes sense.

I need to do some soul searching and spending time with My God and figure out who I am and where I want to be in my life. Things are becoming clearer but I am putting ME on the back burner and I am losing myself again if you can understand that. I need to have a road map of where I want to go and what I want to do :) Until next time!!!!!