For the past year now I have been VERY vocal to my husband about wanting another baby. The time isn't right really, we have a mountain of debt we need to pay off and we pay like $900 in daycare just for Boogey. It's pretty rough to try to manage paying off our debt and trying to plan to bring a new life into the world.
At times I think that it's not meant to be and other times I think that it may be time for me to make the bold move to get out of the Coast Guard and pursue another adventure. I get all confused with what God wants for my life and I think I read signs and all but then sometimes I am wrong ha ha ha! I guess I should just trust him and let things be what they are. I don't really know what the plan is for us but I do know that the one that makes the "MOST" sense is for us to get rid of our debt with a sense of urgency and get this baby making on the road.
I want a baby for so many reasons but the biggest reason is for Cristian to have someone. Brandon and Cristian have each other but they don't live together. I know that in a few years Brandon will be old enough to make a decision on who he wants to live with if he makes that choice but I can't depend on that. I want Cristian to have someone that he can live with and be with all the time. The fact that I am in the Coast Guard makes that hard for Cristian and Brandon. Don't get me wrong now, they have a wonderful relationship they paly, laugh, and talk with one another but they don't see each other often and I don't know what the future is on the location of my life will be lol. SO I want Cristian to have a sibling that he can be close to.
I am also such a planner. I envy those people that have a lot of kids and then worry about the finances later ha ha ha. I wish I could be like that....I mean I was with Cristian nothing mattered and now it makes me wonder why am I so worried now lol. Am I smarter now? Is it not the time yet? I don't know why I am all planny about this maybe it's the excessive cost of daycare in Massachusetts.....there is so much I want to do with my money I am trying to fit it all in.......see this is my head. ha ha ha.
Having two children in the house really freaks me out but I want this for him and I am willing to put all things aside and live unselfishly and give him another baby. It will be hard to get rid of all this debt in the time that we want to get rid of it but at the same time it will all be worth it in the end. I don't know when this is going to happen but I wanted to put it out there in the world so that way I can be held accountable lol.
Until next time!
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