Insanity.......

SO! I remember posting a few days ago that I gained weight and inches in my upper things. I have a pear shaped body and most of my fat goes in the rear end hips and thighs. Tummy is the second place that all of that crap goes.

I noticed it happening because my shorts were fitting CRAZY tight around my legs. Once upon a time ago I hated the thought of wearing shorts and for that reason alone I got so excited when shorts didn't hug my thighs :) I don't want to buy new clothes, I want to wear the ones that I already have because I spent REALLY good money on my clothes and buying a bigger size than I normally wear for me is being okay with getting bigger and if I go there than I am just going to keep letting these little things compound right?

I just want to make it clear that I don't really care about how much I weigh, I sincerely care about my clothes fitting me and not having to buy a bigger size. Now don't get me wrong I am not a one size fits size. I have to buy a medium sometimes to get a better fit and that is okay with me I just don't want to be the bigger size ALL the time. I understand vanity sizing and all that marketing bologna but I can't stress enough I don't want to get bigger because I was already THERE.

I knew that Body Beast and the way that I was eating was not enough for me or maybe I was truly bulking and that's okay but my thighs got bigger and that is not something I want to compromise LOL. If you are a girl reading this I hope you understand lol.

This is where I started. THIS is where my journey began and THIS is NOT me. My weight doesn't define me but my confidence does and THIS girl is not confident. THIS girl had issues with her body, with her mind and she was scorned and in pain. This picture shows a girl who at that very moment decided to make a change in her life. SHE was going to be healthy and she was going to look like she once had before because she always said that kids will not stop her from having what she wanted.

Little did I know that I would be here today standing tall and confident and in love with who I am as a person inside and out. I am healthy and I LOVE that what I feel on the inside is showing on the outside. I am taking care of myself in more ways than one. This was me then and I want to stay where I am now and grow into a more loving and wiser person than I am today I want to keep moving forward and not looking back.

My thighs not fitting into those shorts while it may seem vain and insecure or whatever negative thoughts one would think it truly showed me that I was reverting into a life that I don't want to see again. It may have been my thighs but I was eating poorly, drinking a lot more than a glass or two of wine and it was not going to church. I was sliding backwards in all areas of my life and my body was telling me otherwise. So I started changing things.

I wake up early and pray to God and thank Him for all He has done. I workout and I am now currently doing Insanity and I am in LOVE with it! I also eat better I am writing down what I eat to keep accountable and I am doing my Bible Study and Bible reading everyday.

It is a great Bible study if you are interested in it. There is SO much I want to blog about in the coming days and I am glad that I am off work so that I can share with you all! I can't wait!!!